witness writing

I want to explore life like the art of just being. I want to move slowly and take my time with something not meant to be. Yet, I want to explore the feeling of my stomach dropping and being filled with butterflies when meeting someone new. It is the nervous, excited feeling that makes me feel most alive. I want to let go of the fear that has been consuming me and the unwanted lingering thoughts of betrayal or disloyalty that reside from past experiences. Fear tends to hold me back because I fear what comes next and how I or others will react to the action that's been made. But what I want most is to gain back what was once mine, but the only way I can capture those moments is to do things out of my comfort zone. I think sometimes we fear uncertainty because we don’t know what the outcome may be, and that is okay, but there comes a point when the fear controls us, and that’s when you know it is time to be faithful to yourself and let whatever may be holding you back go. I aim to be better than before. To grow from my past experiences and traumas and take responsibility for my mistakes. I want to regain power over all the situations that have weakened my heart. I want to regain the strength that you always come back, and being weak is not bad because we all have our moments. Showing Weakness allows others to know that it’s ok to be vulnerable. And our mistakes are a learning lesson to become better versions of ourselves. I will challenge myself to leap of faith into the unknown and allow myself to do right and listen to my needs.