STOP JOKING ABOUT SUICIDE.

Don’t you hate it when people say a statement about how they want to “kill themselves” and it just sets off all your triggers. Well the same. It's like really you know i'm trying to heal and you say that. And ok so maybe they didn't think before they spoke but like god damn stop being so inconsiderate. I literally layed in bed last night holding my wrist fighting back any temptations. I tell every person in my life “I swear I would never act on the thought” which is very true and I hold my promise to that but that doesn’t mean shit because as much as I try to stop the thoughts they keep coming back. Seriously we need to stop making suicidal jokes its triggering and incredibly inconsiderate. We have no idea if the lady behind us at the diner just got released from treatment or if the man across the ways son committed years ago. It hurts to hear. And sometimes I say something but other times I sit silently pretending I'm okay when I'm actually trying to contain the fact that that small word with a big meaning just sets off all my triggers. And in that moment all i can think about is these little voices saying “ellie it was just was a joke” but a joke come on that is seriously f*cked up in a crazy way. God dammit we are all struggling, let's be real with each other and supportive. You think before we speak.